8 Comments
User's avatar
0k's avatar
Jul 21Edited

I liked the memory of the mother and how you can feel the shape of the scream before you hear it.

I liked jacks humour. Quietly dry enough to make me laugh. I also like how the doctor doesn’t really acknowledge his it. and the phone call was a great scene.

I liked when they uploaded the memories during therapy. I could go on and on! Thank you for this!

Alexander Marlow's avatar

Thank you too for reading. And taking the time to comment. I'm afraid it gets very dark in part 2

InspiredLewis's avatar

Great stuff. Definitely seeing the inspiration here, but you've made it your own and far more real because of it. The integration of AI into a human mind is intriguing. I like that you hint at a wider world, too. Will be reading more of your work.

Alexander Marlow's avatar

Thanks for reading buddy. And taking the time to let me know. It never goes unappreciated. I don't write a lot of science fiction, but have a few more bubbling in the pot. Take care

Chuck Morrigan's avatar

Ho. Ly. Shit. Sometimes I have to pause and breathe a moment to appreciate the depth of a single line.

There has to be a name for this literary device, but I can't think of any. Charles Beaumont used it a lot in his short stories, and you're using it here as well. The idea is to throw the reader into the situation with little context, and gradually the scope of understanding expands. The confusion leads to deeper immersion when the reader realizes the context of the situation.

The contrast is also wonderful—the grisly dream followed by stabs of humor and almost Ballardian clinical horror. "As an experiment I am 97% successful." Just killer.

I'll be reading the next part as soon as I can. This has been awesome weeknight reading, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.

Alexander Marlow's avatar

Thanks Chuck, very kind. Fair warning, it goes all the way to hell

Alexander Marlow's avatar

I think a potassium infusion would be more appropriate. I rewrote the ending

Jo Marlow's avatar

My favourite. I shall be reading later with a nice earl grey and a custard cream.